Matthew and Toby are forced to scrap the episode they had in the bag when the baseball gods intervene -- first by destroying the audio recording and then by bestowing us with National Treasure Bartolo Colon's first career home run. That makes him the oldest player in history to record his first dinger, and it makes all baseball fans around the country #blessed. In further Big Sexy Big Fly coverage, special correspondent Peter Bondi sends in a firsthand report on location from the game, and a handful of Mets fans relay where they were when they heard the news. Matthew discusses bringing relegation to Major League Baseball, and for #engagement, Battery Mates Nation weigh in on which baseball players will probably be voting for The Donald.